This has been a difficult week.

Last night I decided I would take Miss ME back to my old home town to the beach to take a nice long walk.

The beach has always been where I go when I need to reset.

So today, we sent E off to school and started driving towards the neighborhood I grew up in.

As we drove there, I thought “I should call Matt when we get there to see if he wants to walk with us”.

Then I remembered.

Then I started crying.

As we started our walk, my heart was in my throat and tears were in my eyes.

We walked 2 miles and then crossed the street.

I stood looking at Blacks Creek and remembered that this was where we learned to sail…and I smiled (Matt’s condo building is in the far distance).

Then we walked down the bike path and I remembered riding my bike there with Matt and my parents…and I smiled.

Then we walked into our old neighborhood, past houses that were as familiar to me as the one I grew up in.

We passed Sailor’s Pond where we learned to ice skate and Matt played hockey with his friends…and I smiled.

We passed the elementary school we went to, the one his friend Nate mentioned when he spoke at Matt’s service…and I smiled.

Miss ME and I circled back to the beach and stopped at the park.

I watched my girl run around with abandon, giggling, squealing and laughing…and I smiled.

Today wasn’t easy, but through the tears that have been with me all day, I did have several smiles.