This has been a difficult week.
Last night I decided I would take Miss ME back to my old home town to the beach to take a nice long walk.
The beach has always been where I go when I need to reset.
So today, we sent E off to school and started driving towards the neighborhood I grew up in.
As we drove there, I thought “I should call Matt when we get there to see if he wants to walk with us”.
Then I remembered.
Then I started crying.
As we started our walk, my heart was in my throat and tears were in my eyes.
We walked 2 miles and then crossed the street.
I stood looking at Blacks Creek and remembered that this was where we learned to sail…and I smiled (Matt’s condo building is in the far distance).
Then we walked down the bike path and I remembered riding my bike there with Matt and my parents…and I smiled.
Then we walked into our old neighborhood, past houses that were as familiar to me as the one I grew up in.
We passed Sailor’s Pond where we learned to ice skate and Matt played hockey with his friends…and I smiled.
We passed the elementary school we went to, the one his friend Nate mentioned when he spoke at Matt’s service…and I smiled.
Miss ME and I circled back to the beach and stopped at the park.
I watched my girl run around with abandon, giggling, squealing and laughing…and I smiled.
Today wasn’t easy, but through the tears that have been with me all day, I did have several smiles.