Today is my birthday.

Each year on my birthday I am reminded how lucky I am.

My back may hurt, I may be exhausted, I am still grieving…but I am lucky.

I laugh, my body is healthy, my heart swells with love for all my family.

As a plus, I thought this whole past year I was already 43.  So really, I haven’t aged a year this year!

Every year since I was 27, the main thing I think about on my birthday is Michael.

Michael was my brother’s best friend and I don’t remember a time he wasn’t in my life.

Matt Ali and Mike

Matt, Ali & Mike

Michael passed away from cancer the year I was 27.

He was too young.

However, it is not his death I think about, it is how he lived those years of illness I think about.

Years of illness I am always in awe of.

I cry as I type this because I remember him as so gracious.

My memories of that time have all blended together.

There is so much I could write, but the main thing is something that changed my life.

Visiting Mike in the hospital, I recall a conversation where he told me the nurses made his stay tolerable.

I remember him telling me a nurse brought in a record player and stayed after her shift to listen to albums with him.

I don’t know why, but that has always stuck with me.

It is because of Mike, him talking to me about being sick, that made go back to school to be a nurse.

I had been working for a dot.com that had spent millions of dollars to make a product that went no where.

I felt so much of my life (lets face it, you spend so much time at work) had been a waste.

After Mike passed, I remembered our conversations.

The company I worked for folded.

I took that chance to go back to school full time for 2 and half years.

It is because of Mike that I have helped thousands of people during a scary, stressful time,  in their life.

I think of him often.

Especially this past year since Matt’s death.

I hope that Mike was there to greet Matt when he left this earth.

I know he was.

And I am once again eternally grateful.




6 thoughts on “Michael

  1. Stefanie says:

    ♫Happy☻໌*✰☻ັBirthday☆+。! What a sweet post about your friend. Thank you for sharing. I’m glad he had wonderful, caring nurses during his time in the hospital. By you talking about him, you are keeping his shining memory alive. And kudos to you on going back to school to become a nurse. My gf was in the biotech industry and wanted to do something that gave back so she did that also and now works with ill children at Lucille-Packard.


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